UFO Info Week-End

I’ve done that Ann she says selecting an upmarket frozen meal Studied to be an accountant Gave it up

“I’ve done that, Ann,” she says, selecting an upmarket frozen meal “Studied to be an accountant Gave it up.”I ask her how much she earns. She is very direct and uses my name in almost every sentence I ask whether she wants to go to university. Melissa and her flatmate are table dancers and the reason she’s alone is that her flatmate has to dance until 2am, while she left at midnight.Melissa is 23 and originally from the West Country. She is extremely pretty with long, straight blond hair and a Barbie-type face. She says she normally comes shopping with her flatmate and they spend pounds 160 They buy a lot of make-up, videos and CDs This week she’s by herself, so she’ll spend less. The end result is that they spend pounds 138.20 and Ian says that it’s only because I’m there that Jaz has not started complaining.I decide I need to pick up a few things myself and wander over to smoked meats, where I find Melissa.

Ian gets an entire case of tinned tomatoes and says that, at 9p a tin, that’s a bargain. He does the cooking, although Jaz says he sets a lovely table.They buy loads of dog food for their bull mastiff and have a long pause at the body spray counter. He wants to stay within pounds 100.There is something wonderfully voyeuristic about going on a weekly shop with two near strangers I am shocked when Jaz picks up four pounds of sugar “In one week!” I say. I amble up an aisle and am immediately intrigued at the sight of two large men and one half-filled trolley. They are obviously a couple, haggling over whether to get this loaf or that One has dyed blond hair and four gold earrings. The other has dark cropped hair, a leather jacket and a calculator It turns out this is their weekly shop.

They like shopping at night because they can’t stand all those other people I commiserate about this The one with the calculator is named Jaz He used to be a bouncer but is between doors at the moment Ian is registered disabled with osteoarthritis Jaz says he adopted the calculator to keep Ian in check. “No, I’m a Renaissance man! You’ve probably picked the most complex men in this store,” he insists. He then claims that this situation reminds him of a Woody Allen movie and heads for the check- out He spends pounds 3.27 and Terry hands over pounds 1.50 “Ta da, love,” they say.Indeed. “That means we both have our own places and it’s lovely.” Derek nods. “Yes, I always thought that was the best way.”Terry and Derek are in their late 40s and have known each other for 30 years.